staying focus------In the midst of trouble

Today, December 17,2010.......staying focus on what matters even in the midst of trouble.....those things, I have no control over....staying focus and in the moment.....trouble is than far away.....what does matter in this moment, is I am living,breathing and able to see and hear everything around me, I see my troubles so far away.....living in the moment is the only choice I have,troubles,problems but they are so far from me, living in the moment is peace beyond all other things...it
is training my mind to live for that moment and not my troubles and despair for at the end everything works out.

Today, December 17,2010, i open my eyes, I get out of my bed, I walk to the bathroom and before I can wash my face, I get letters and more letters saying, you will not get any more medical insurance....you will not get any help from us.....letters that are ment to try to hurt me, but you see, these things are not in my control my fist reaction is to cry and than get angry, I can feel my heart pumping and I get anxious to do something lash out on someone, but I refrain myself to live for the moment.

I ask mysef does it matter, can I change the circumstance? no i can not, this kind of torment comes from people who do not know my situation, I find myself to think does this matter? what is important to me is my family, if I should react to this
situation it will only bring me harm, we can only count on living now because towmorow we do not know and today is almost over, to plan ahead your future is not ours to do, this must come from up above and no matter what I do, things will not change my situation is what it is today only.

I got to a place in my heart that no matter how I try, no matter what I do, my life is already done, the way i chose to run my life has been given to me, I can not chnage that I can only accept it. i breath, I live, I eat, I live, those who do not understand me it is not for me to make you see my situation, but it is for you to find it in your heart to understand! can this be possibble? in the moment gives me 2 hrs more of life, it gives me peace, even though troubles seem to be near I laugh at them it is not my problem it is theres

I let go, I surender my everything, my purpose, my life to God and his power to move things in my life that have blocked my eyes from seeing the true happiness that God has given us all, and I say to those who do not understand me, it is ok
if you decide to throw my family and I in the street so be it, if we have become a burden to you than let go, and when you do God will be there to pick me up no matter how many broken pieces he finds me in he will restore what you took away